


Locked.

by tjnstlouismo



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Angst, Homophobic Language, M/M, Sasha being a jerk.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjnstlouismo/pseuds/tjnstlouismo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life gets in the way.</p>
<p>Everything belongs to Hamlet Machine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They shoved what they could in the trunk and back seat of the car, leaving much more behind. It was just cheap crap anyway, Sasha angrily rationalized. They worked in silence, Sasha hauling the hastily packed boxes and black trash bags down the four flights out to their junk ass car. Sasha hoped it would take them someplace they could just get a cheap room for the night and figure out what the hell they were going to do tomorrow. Ethan was faltering; eyes wet as he opened drawers and cabinets trying to decide what they couldn’t leave behind. Every minute or so, Sasha caught him just staring out into space, tears rolling down his face, biting at his lips to not cry out loud.

"Finish the fuck up, princess," he snarled, angry at Ethan for making it harder. Angry at the situation they found themselves in, but more furious with himself for failing once again. "Save your pansy ass weeping for later." he said just to hurt Ethan a little more.

It worked. Ethan's face crumpled and he covered his face so that Sasha couldn't see him try to not lose it completely. "Jeez, Sash, way to go to make this fucking shit worse than it already is." Sasha thought to himself as he grabbed the bag out of Ethan's hand, shoved in some stuff laying on the end table and tied it off.

"I'm taking this down to the fucking car." he spat out then stomped out of the apartment. He slammed the door behind him but it didn't make him feel any better. He growled menacing at the motley group of shabby teens lolling around the corner eyeing the car and its contents. They backed off, whispering to each other. He heard "Not fucking worth it...psycho" as he stomped back up the stairs taking two at a time.

Ethan stood in the kitchen, the mugs they had coffee in every morning, in his hands.

"You don't fucking need those!” he snapped at Ethan. He had been snarling, enraged, since they got the eviction notice a day ago. Ethan had stopped crying now. Defiant, he stuck his chin out and answered, "I'll hold them in my lap. I want them. I have to ha...", then his voice broke and he looked away again.

"Tch, blayt, whateverthefuck!" Sasha impatiently snorted then walked around the tiny apartment to make sure he wasn't leaving any cigarettes or medals behind. He found a tiny snapshot they had taken years ago when on shore leave, laying among some trash on the bedroom floor. One of them had stepped on it; he had to brush the boot mark off of it. Ethan's nose was covered with white crap because he burned the moment he went out in the sun. He was laughing. He was happy. Sasha stared at it for a moment then carefully slid it into his jacket's inner pocket then yelled into the other room, "Time to high tail it out of this shit assed dump, princess. Get a fucking move on."

Ethan was standing in the doorway waiting for him, his face unreadable; coat on, holding both mugs tightly to his chest. Sasha shoved him slightly to get him moving. Ethan started down the stairs not looking at their life being left behind. Sasha tossed the keys into the apartment as he closed the door. "Place is a fucking dump anyway." he muttered as he followed Ethan down the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Ethan was quiet and stared out the window as Sasha finally got the car started.

"I'm just going to find someplace for the night, "he answered."Then tomorrow I'm taking you to your parents." Ethan raised his head and turned to look at him, his eyes big.

"They won't let us stay there, Sash."

Sasha shook his head. "They won't _me_ stay there."

Ethan was silent again, turned back to the window, shaking with the sobs he was trying to keep to himself.

This was so fucked up. Sasha felt so defeated by a system he just couldn't get a handle on. Nothing in his life had prepared him to be responsible for someone else and he fucking sucked at it. He had insisted on supporting them while Ethan went back to school. He had gotten two fucked up minimum wage jobs and bartended when he could. That didn't last long. One night he broke a bottle over the head of some dude who touched Ethan while Ethan waited for him to get off. He was bent over the bar studying for an exam when the guy had sidled up to Ethan, snuck his hand over Ethan's crotch and squeezed before Ethan noticed him. Sasha had jumped over the bar and bashed the guys head with the bottle he had in his hand without a thought. He was fired and spent the night in jail. Ethan had called his mother and begged for the bail money. Humiliated worse when she said it was the last time.

He lost the first job because he overslept one too many times, always exhausted. The second job disappeared when he showed up and the doors were chained shut and an "OUT OF BUSINESS" sign plastered over the glass. They owed him a check, which never came. He pounded the pavement but couldn't find anything before their meager savings was gone. When Ethan couldn't buy books for the next semester, he had to drop out. Before Ethan could find a job, they ate from the food panty down the block, washed their socks and underwear out in the tub, and wore everything they owned to keep warm when the heat was turned off. The lights would be next but before it went dark, there was a bright yellow paper plastered on their front door. Eviction. Now they didn't even have a place to stay.

Sasha headed the car to a cheap hotel he remembered seeing along the highway. He hoped it was still a cheap hotel because the last of their money was only going to pay for gas to get Ethan out to the burbs to his parent's grand house. He wasn’t sure if there would be gas for him to leave, their car was burning it an alarming rate, the oil light flickering on every so often. But if he could get them into a warm room, with a shower with hot water, and a bed to fuck Ethan one last time in, he thought he would feel that he was doing _something_ for Ethan. Then he could get Ethan home tomorrow to start living the life he was suppose to live before he got himself involved with some fucking waste of air, gypsy colonist. Without a job, or a place to live, Sasha would be deported back to the colony. Right now, if he made it back from the burbs, he was just going to turn himself in and get it over with.

Looking at Ethan, whose eyes were closed, his long lashes lying on wet cheeks; he held his breath at his beauty. How he had ever thought he could keep this happiness, he didn't know. He must be enchanted.

He found the motel, and he got a room for them. It was more than he had, but the motel owner accepted a medal with his last few credits. He'd have to pawn another medal for the gas the next day. He pulled the car into the far end of the lot in front of the room they had been assigned. It had started raining so Sasha sat for a minute. Ethan rested his head against the window, eyes still closed.

Sasha reached over and gently touched Ethan's blond hair, longer than he had worn when they served the Alliance. He played his fingers through it and leaned over to smell it. He took a deep breath as if to cement the smell and texture in his soul, so that when he was gone out of Ethan's life, he would have something to always carry with him.

"I'm not leaving you." Ethan said. He sounded strong and determined, but Sasha knew this was just stubbornness.

"We aren't discussing it, baby." Sasha countered. Ethan opened his eyes and turned to him and shoved him back away from him.

"No, we aren't discussing it."

Ethan was done crying, his eyes were clear and his jaw set. He turned back to the door and unlocked it. Sasha reached around him and relocked it. Then he snaked his hand across the car sight and tentatively took Ethan's hand in his. He wove his fingers through Ethan's. The inside of the car was dim, lit only by the yellowed single light at the end of the motel lot. Sasha held still, his dusky fingers mixed up with Ethan's stark white ones. "I love you." he murmured, hoping Ethan wouldn't hear him clearly enough to carve the words into his heart. Ethan hung his head then moved his fingers entwined with his to lock them together.

"I'm not leaving you." Ethan said again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was over, I was wrong. There was something else to say.

Something smelled. Like piss and sour towels, Sasha couldn't put his finger on it, so he just turned over and moved his head in the other direction. As he drifted off, the odor filled his nose once more. He sniffed then sniffed again, then sat straight up.

"What the fuck?" he muttered as he ran his hand through his shaggy hair. It felt oily; he needed a shower bad. He squinted until his eyes got used to the light in the room, not quite awake. The bed didn't seem to be facing the right way and it’s disoriented him. Achy like he had been in a fight; he rolled his shoulders and popped the joints in his neck.

Then he remembered yesterday and reached beside him. Ethan wasn't there. The sheets were cold; he hadn’t been there for a while. He looked around the seedy motel room; Ethan wasn't there. "Princess?" he called out but there wasn't an answer.

He rolled himself out of bed, padded to the bathroom, hoping maybe Ethan was curled up on the floor, so Sasha couldn’t see him cry. But the dingy little room was empty. Sasha walked back into the room and flipped on a light. Ethan's jacket and shoes were gone. So was his wallet. Sasha pulled back one of grimy curtains. The car was sitting out front of their room but Ethan was no where in sight. Sasha rubbed at his face in confusion. Maybe he only imagined that Ethan told him he wouldn’t leave him. He shook his head and muttered, "I would fucking leave me."

He walked back to the bath, smelled at the towels. He found a couple that didn't smell sour, so he rinsed out the tub best he could then stepped into the shower. At least the water was hot. After he washed his body and his hair with the grey sliver of soap he found on the side of the tub, he leaned against the wall to let the water flow over his stiff muscles until the water went cold. "Lousy fucking bed." he murmured. “Lousy fucking life.”

After the shower he fished around in his pockets for some leftover change. He didn‘t find any so he pulled on his jeans, slipped into his boots and went out to the car, towel still wrapped around his head. He searched under the seats and in the dash and finally found enough for the coffee machine he had seen in the motel office lobby. It was fucking freezing so he ducked inside the room for his jacket then loped across the parking lot to the office. The attendant was no where in sight. He was able to get a small cup of lukewarm black sludge from the machine. Disgusted after one drink of bitterness, he grabbed a couple of sugar packets and headed back to the room. Maybe Ethan would be back, he hoped.

But he wasn't. He still wasn't by the time Sasha had finished his coffee and towel dried his hair. In thirty minutes he would have to check out, and still no Ethan. "Blayt!" he cursed, angry now. It was all bullshit, everything Ethan said to him, just bullshit. Ethan must have woken up, took one look around him and left. Anger became hurt and hurt wobbled into despair, and Sasha had to wipe at his eyes. He couldn't get mad at Ethan; he didn't blame him for anything but letting Sasha fuck up his life.

He couldn't bring himself to move off the couch as the time moved closer to eleven and he would have to check out. He waited to dress until the very last minute. Sasha grabbed his wallet and keys before he walked out of the broken down room, towards their car.

He didn't pay any attention to the late model car that had slipped into spot next to him. He didn’t notice the door open and a skinny blond poke his head out of the car.

"Sash! What are you doing?" Ethan called to him as he jumped out and ran around their clunker. Sasha looked with disbelief in the direction of Ethan’s voice. Ethan was shaken to see Sash’s face dark and wet.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," Ethan wrapped his arms around him. "It took Dad forever to pick me up, I’m sorry; I couldn't find anything to write you a note with."

Sasha folded up in Ethan's warm arms, too grateful to be angry. "Shh, shh, it's ok Sash, its ok." Ethan murmured as he nosed Sasha’s ear then wrapped him up in his jacket so that his face was covered. Ethan knew Sasha was too proud to be seen with tears on his face.

Sasha was too choked to speak at first but then as he gained control of himself he moved Ethan back and glanced over at the car Ethan's father was still sitting in.

"What the fuck did you do, princess?" he demanded, holding Ethan at the arms not wanting to completely let him go. Ethan pulled himself out of Sash's grip and then reached down and took his hand in his. He brought their hands to eye level then purposefully folded his fingers in Sasha's.

"I told you. But you won't listen to me, Sasha!" he whispered low so that only Sasha heard him. "I will not leave you."

Sasha bit his bottom lip and sniffed.

Ethan didn't give him a chance to say anything, but brought their locked fingers up to his lips and kissed them. He guided their fingers to Sasha's lips for Sasha to kiss.

"I called my parents; my dad is here to take us to their house. We are staying with them until we get back on our feet." he said steadily.

Sasha sarcastically whispered back "Your parents fucking hate my guts, princess!" Ethan tapped Sasha in the mouth with the fist he made of their fingers. "I don't care. They are our parents and they are going to take care of us, and we, _we are going to let them!_ "

"They aren’t my parents, babe." Bitter, Sasha tried to pull his fingers away from Ethan's but Ethan caught Sash’s with his other hand and tightened his grip.

"Sasha, you aren't just yourself now, you are part of me, and that makes it _us; not you, not me, but us!"_ Ethan purposely admonished him. "Now we _, we_ are going to follow _our_ father and go home. Then _we_ are going to let them take care of us until we get back on our feet!"

Sasha stared at him, his heart fluttered at Ethan's stubborn willfulness. He felt his cock get hard; it turned him on every time Ethan found his balls and told Sasha what _they_ were going to do. Sasha had no choice but to follow him.

Sasha brought their entwined fingers to his mouth and kissed the fingers so woven together that there was no beginning or end.

He would love this man forever.


End file.
